In the age of Internet of Things, even your child's favorite stuffed toy may soon be able to connect to a network and control other appliances around your home. Although it's a product that may not really see the light of day, it's the concept behind a patent that was filed by Google at least 3 years ago.
Other details of the patent describe that the toy can be “awakened” with a trigger word that will enable it to turn its head towards the source of the speaker and communicate via microphones and cameras if the person is making eye contact with it.
Didn't Google learn enough from the movie Artificial Intelligence? Walking, talking Teddy Bears are not cute and are just plain creepy.
But Google's patent for creepy Internet-connected toys aren't the most disturbing supposedly child-friendly products ever to be conceived. Here is a round-up of some of the weirdest and most NOPE-worthy toys we've found on the web.
1. Play-Doh's DOH! Moment
Last Christmas, many parents were outraged to see that the brand new Play-Doh decorating set that their kids may be received as a gift over the holidays included an incredibly phallic-looking object that, of course, would squirt out a white substance when pumped. Yes, it was supposed to be an icing dispenser, but how this particular design made it past Quality Control is beyond us.
2. The Miracle of Birth(ing Dolls)
Many have heard about Barbie's pregnant friend, Midge, who was unceremoniously pulled off the shelves when she was deemed too controversial. But birthing dolls are still readily available to teach kids all about the miracle of labor and birth, sans the screaming.
Birthing Dolls are usually stuffed dolls of anatomically correct women from different cultural backgrounds. Inside of the dolls are, you guessed it, little babies that can only be accessed by pulling them out of the doll's vagina, complete with umbilical cord and placenta.
(Though we must admit, the way the baby doll attaches to its mama with a snap to breastfeed is quite adorable)
3. Baby Voldemort will eat your soul
We always found the trend of “Baby Born” dolls passing too close to the uncanny valley for our comfort. But this artist took her hobby one step further by creating recreations of her favorite Harry Potter characters as newborn infants.
While the baby versions of Hermione and Snape for example are downright cute enough to gobble up, the little Voldemort is something right out of your worst Dementor's nightmare.
4. Dollar Store Evil Stick
Dollar store toys are cheap, break easily, and are often used as party bag stuffers that are soon forgotten. But this particular wand, marketed as an “Evil Stick” hid a terrifying secret that would traumatize any child.
Behind the mirrored sticker on the pink wand was a photo pf a demonic little girl slicing of her own arm. Demon Stick for sure!
5. Shave the Baby. Because you can.
Oh, Japan. What list with the words “Creepy” or “Weird” would be complete without you. We leave you now with this wonder from the land of the rising sun to ponder upon.
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