First date jitters can cause you to clam up with nerves. But a study found that you might be able to fall in love with a stranger pretty quickly if you ask the right questions.
The study, led by psychologist Arthur Aron which was originally published in 1997 in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, paired college students at random, giving some of the 33 pairs a series of 36 questions.
The questions started off simple, such as "When did you last sing to yourself," and became more personal such as "Is there something you've dreamed of doing for a long time, and why haven't you done it," and "Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing?"
The other pairs that weren't given these types of questions received prompts for small-talk to help them break the ice such as "If you could invent a new flavor of ice cream, what would it be?"
The researchers gave the participants 45 minutes to complete the tasks with their partner and then separated them, asking them to fill out a questionnaire about how close they felt to that person.
They found that those who asked and answered more personal questions felt closer to their partner than those who made small-talk. The study suggests that asking personal questions that make people dig deep within themselves brings people closer together than just talking about the mundane.
And while this study was conducted years ago, the theory that focusing on interpersonal closeness can cause love still applies today. Online daters who are just looking for a fling may ask potential dates about their favorite food, while those looking for more serious connections may dig deeper and ask things about the future.
According to an OKCupid study published in 2011, if you want to know if you have long-term potential with a date you should ask things like "Do you like horror movies?" or "Wouldn't it be fun to chuck it all and go live on a sailboat?"
The study says that if you want to know if your date is just looking for a hookup, ask them "Do you like the taste of beer?" They found that whether or not someone likes the taste of beer beer was the best predictor if they'll have sex on the first date.
Needless to say, these questions are a lot different from the 36 questions featured in the 1997 study.
While it may seem obvious that better connections are made when getting personal on a date, the original study provides a list of 36 questions that are meant to build intimacy at very quick speed. Check out the questions here.
[Photo Credit: al fernandez/Flickr]
