Valve has now announced the winners of the first-ever Steam Awards. Players have successfully cast their votes for titles nominated under what's apparently the wackiest set of categories from any award shows.
Steam Awards
The results are in, putting some stellar fan-favorites with a fine mix of bestsellers as winners. Oddly, however, ARK: Survival Evolved wasn't able to net the "Best Use Of A Farm Animal" award; it went to Goat Simulator. It had previously been extra earnest about winning the award, having resorted to sly incentivizing, which was met with sharp dismay among the game's community.
With the announcement of the winners, however, also comes that halt of Steam's Winter sale, which saw enormous discounts for games all throughout the holiday season.
Anyhow, these were the lucky few who received Steam's amusing set of accolades.
The Winners
Valve's own Portal 2 won the "Villain Most In Need Of A Hug" award, a merit presumably given for the troubled, eensy-hearted antagonist who needs a little TLC.
Euro Truck Simulator 2 won the "I Thought This Game Was Cool Before It Won An Award" award, beating out Stardew Valley, Starbound, Unturned, and Paladins, in a fist fight over which game had the best quality even in its nascent form, without the eventual bustle of acclaim and popularity it earned as time went by.
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim won the "Test of Time" award, proving that Bethesda's 2011 title, which has spawned a lot memes over the years, still stands today as an excellent title despite its age.
The "Just 5 More Minutes" award was handed out to Counter-Strike: Global Offensive, a deftly engaging title that has proven oppressive of a player's time. The game won the award because it was the best one among the bunch that can turn "five more minutes" into "has it really been four hours? Seriously?"
Grand Theft Auto V is a double winner, with the "Whoooaaaaaaa, dude!" and "Game Within A Game" awards under its belt.
The Walking Dead won the "I'm Not Crying, There's Something In My Eye" award, beating out its co-nominees for being the consummate tear-jerker that it is.
The "Boom Boom" award goes to Doom, and as previously mentioned, Goat Simulator netted the "Best Use Of A Farm Animal" award.
The "Love/Hate Relationship" award went to Dark Souls III, the "Sit Back and Relax" award went to Euro Truck Simulator 2, and finally, the "Better With Friends" award went to Left 4 Dead 2.
Disagree with the winners? Look at the full list of nominees and feel free to tell us which should have won which in the comments section below!
