The iconic rolling text opening credit for “Star Wars” was repeated in Episode VII, “The Force Awakens.” The opening lines tell immediately what happened to Luke Skywalker and explain his absence from nearly all the marketing hype leading up to the release of the new movie.
Spoilers now.
He vanished.
The rest of the movie is spent basically trying to put together a star map that is the only clue to his whereabouts after being in hiding for decades.
But what was Luke up to exactly while on his self-imposed exile? Many think that he was off to search for the last secret Jedi Temple. Others point out that he ran away after his student, who also happened to be his nephew, turned dark.
Now, the Internet once again offers another answer to what exactly Luke Skywalker, the last Jedi, has been doing all these years: he's been on Twitter.
Check out @VeryLonelyLuke on the social media site and you'll find a wealth of hilarious tweets supposedly made by an introspective hermit Luke on his deserted island home on the far-off planet of Ahch-To.
How come every planet only has one terrain type? Why is each one ALL desert or ALL water? The ocean says nothing. It silently mocks me.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) December 30, 2015
I've been saying "WTF" to people for years. I just found out it doesn't mean "with the Force." No wonder I don't have any friends. — Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 1, 2016
It's been 20 years since I've seen another person. Why did I think this was a good idea again? Oh, yeah. I remember. Because I'm an idiot — Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 1, 2016
Apparently, even in his isolation, he still had some inkling of what was going on in other parts of the galaxy.
I felt a great disturbance in the Force Like a 3rd Death Star blew up a planet That's way too unbelievable I probably just have heartburn — Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) December 30, 2015
I'm going to stand in this spot and stare at the ocean for 20 years so I can turn around dramatically if someone ever shows up.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) December 30, 2015
I can sense through the Force that something very bad just happened to Han. I hope he didn't knock up my sister again. — Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 1, 2016
At least he got some quality time to be alone with his thoughts and to ponder about the past.
It's hard not to dwell on the past when I'm alone. Like, why did Leia get to be a princess? We're twins. They made me a moisture farmer. — Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 1, 2016
He also offers some clues as to what in his Jedi Training of Ben Solo caused the teen to turn emo and change his name to Kylo Ren.
Vader wore a mask because his face was disfigured by lava. Kylo Ren wears a mask because his face was disfigured by Han's DNA. — Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 1, 2016
One time Kylo Ren showed up to my class in a black mask. I was like "Why?" And he was like "You won't understand" I think he's in a gang.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 1, 2016
I taught Kylo Ren just like Yoda taught me: By making him give me piggyback rides everywhere. And that's why he turned to the Dark Side. — Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) December 31, 2015
On that note, also check out @EmoKyloRen on Twitter for some teen angsty tweets from the Darth Vader fanatic.
