It's not looking good for the Philadelphia Phillies this year.
There's a strong chance the Phillies could end up as the National League East's last-place team, with approximately 67 projected wins throughout the entire season. It's looking to be one of the worst (if not the worst) season in the team's history, and for Phillies fans, there's little to look forward to - unless you like watching your team get run into that ground, that is.
Then again, it's not all bad: there's still the stadium food, and this year's Phillies games have something that no other team does. You see, Wayback Burgers has announced that a new, nine-patty cheeseburger will debut at Citizens Bank Park: it's called the Triple Triple Burger, and it's an absolute beast:
A photo posted by Wayback Burgers (@waybackburgers) on Apr 1, 2015 at 2:02pm PDT
There are few things in life as wonderfully simple as a cheeseburger. In essence, it's a meat sandwich covered in cheese - what's not to love? The Triple Triple Burger, on the other hand, is almost scary to look at. Even on the menu, it towers over every other option - it's the king of burgers, a literal mountain of meat. It makes Wayback Burgers' other options look like snacks in comparison, and it's not like those other burgers are that small. Though, while it is a marvel to look at, the Triple Triple Burger does raise a few questions...
First off, how is anyone supposed to eat that like an actual burger? Yeah, it looks cool, but when you try to eat it, you'll probably just have to take it all apart and eat the patties separately - it's like paying someone to assemble food and then immediately disassemble it. Secondly, how is anyone supposed to eat that in one go? There are plenty of two-patty burgers that can fill most people up, and this is over four times that amount. Even if you ordered before the game started, there'd probably be leftovers by the time you left the park. And third, the behemoth weighs in at 1,780 calories and has 485 mg of choleserol and 700 mg of sodium, according to nutritional info (PDF) on Wayback's website. 'Nuff said!
Leaning tower of beef. Thanks IG user @_t.gn for sharing! pic.twitter.com/OZa86LmKbI — Wayback Burgers (@waybackburgers) March 29, 2015
Questions aside, that thing looks delicious. It's the most unrealistic, unnecessary burger that's ever been made, and it looks amazing. Pair that with a glass of wine (yes, Citizens Bank Park now sells alcohol), and maybe watching the Phillies won't be so painful this year.
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