You may have heard about the ballpark Krispy Kreme hot dog. Don't buy into the hype. It's just a clever marketing move to distract us Americans from Krispy Kreme's other big announcement of the day.
They've done Oreo donuts. They've done Cheerwine donuts. Get ready for Krispy Kreme to partner up with Reese's for what may be the ultimate sweet indulgence: Krispy Kreme Reese's Peanut Butter Cups Donuts. The donut maker describes it as "filled with Reese's Peanut Butter, hand-dipped in chocolate icing and topped with hazelnuts and Reese's peanut butter drops."
Sounds (and looks) incredible, right? But don't get your hopes up — unless you live in the United Kingdom.
That's right, the Reese's donut can only be found at Krispy Kreme stores in Great Britain. And like most of Krispy Kreme's specialty donuts, these puppies are available for a limited time only. But whatever. All that matters is that only Brits can have them. Congratulations, England. You win the day.
What we can't get our heads around is why this delectable delight can't be enjoyed in the U.S., too. Krispy Kreme was created and is headquartered in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Reese's is a brand of Hershey, which operates out of the town of Hershey, Pennsylvania. It seems perfectly natural for these two all-American treats to team up for a combined taste experience. But why export it?
We told Daryl about it, and he couldn't even.
What the heck, Krispy Kreme? Why have you stopped loving us, Hershey? It's not like these are flavors adored only by British connoisseurs. Americans are crazy about Krispy Kreme donuts and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups!
Today's hot dog news was obviously meant to keep us from noticing that the holy marriage of Krispy Kreme and Reese's is happening well outside of America's borders. Because once all of America finds out about this, there will be riots. Trade sanctions. Possibly military action.
239 years after the Revolutionary War, the U.K. has found a way to take its revenge on the Colonials. They have bought off two of our most loved confectionary institutions. They have conspired to keep us from enjoying sugary-glazed, yeast-based donuts filled with sweet-and-salty peanut butter perfection. Riker's feels sum it right up.
Speaking for all of America, we demand our Krispy Kreme Reese's Peanut Butter Cup donuts! We're not going to stand for this pastry prejudice! This fallacy of fosnaughts! It is delicacy despotism, and we won't have it!
Just give us the donuts and no one gets hurt.
Update: One man from the U.K. saw our story, went to his local Krispy Kreme and was kind enough to share his Krispy Kreme Reese's Peanut Butter Cup donut experience with the rest of us. Thanks Ayoub Khote.
The Krispy Kreme Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Doughnut
Related: Dairy Queen's SECRET Menu
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