Reddit User Seeks Advice After Finding Out About Boyfriend's Affair With Dying Friend

After finding out that her partner had been unfaithful to her on a goodbye trip, a 22-year-old lady resorted to the internet for guidance.

According to a report from toofab, one lady turned to Reddit to discuss her complicated issue, which sparked a flood of feedback and suggestions from the online community.

The Woman's Complicated Situation

User WhiteSeal9723 initially posted her dilemma on the Reddit community r/TwoHotTakes.

"My boyfriend didn't tell me that he had sex with his dying friend. We were together when it happened. He's still depressed about her death. I feel jealous, and I don't know what to do," she stated in her long post.

The Reddit user said she just found out about the affair via common acquaintances and never told her lover. She acknowledged how difficult it was for her to deal with her jealousy, which was made more difficult by the fact that the relevant girl had now passed away.

She noted: "As for who initiated, it was the girl. He was tipsy but not drunk. She kissed him and made the first move. He knew that she had a crush on him. He was never in love with her, never attracted, never saw her as a partner even after what happened, etc. It was spur of the moment because of strong emotions. He didn't get to ask me for permission because it happened exactly at that moment."

The lady stated that her boyfriend felt somewhat uncomfortable in the dying girl's presence afterward, but he made an effort to overcome it because they were friends, and considering her terminal condition.

The woman continued to provide insights into her situation, describing her boyfriend's depression after the friend's passing. She was hesitant to confront him due to his fragile mental state and the fear of pushing him further.

"We have an otherwise perfect relationship. He's always been a good boyfriend even when he's at his lowest now. I had bad episodes before and the lowest of low points. He was the first who stood by me. My family is strict and didn't approve of us but he tried hard to win even my extended family over. We've been together for more than 3 years and have known each other since high school. No history of infidelity from both parties."

Though the authenticity of the user's complicated story could not be verified, the Reddit post drew thousands of comments, with users offering advice on how to navigate the emotional turmoil.

Reddit user Crippled_Knitter commented: "Just cuz some of y'all would be ok with this doesn't mean OP has to be. He broke trust. Doesn't matter who was dying. Maybe if he bothered to discuss this with his partner first... But ultimately it's up to OP and the boyfriend if they want to continue to be together after this. If they do, I suggest couples counseling and therapy for them separately."

One user reacted: "He did cheat on you with the dying girl though. What is worse is he never even told you. Sorry, no excuses for a cheat."

She Confronted Her BF: Here's What Happened

Two days later, she posted an update on Reddit about her conversation with her boyfriend.

"I couldn't take it anymore, so I talked to him immediately. It's not an angry or accusatory conversation, just very emotionally draining for both parties. I asked him as many questions as I could," the woman stated.

She disclosed that her boyfriend acknowledged the affair and said he kept it a secret out of fear of being rejected, adding that he apologized and intends to keep their relationship, but would understand if she decided to break up with him. Moreover, the woman's boyfriend regretted the behavior and blamed his friend's deadly illness. He said that his friend initiated the sexual encounter, and he said he never liked her.

"Another thing I asked him was what would've happened if the girl got cured after they did it. He said that it would have ruined their friendship or it would take a lot of time for him to forgive her. He said she shouldn't have brought that up in the first place. I asked him if he would've dumped me for her and he said never even if she was dying already. I don't know why I ever thought that he'd be dismissive of my feelings. He's always been supportive of me before this. I feel bad for doubting him lol."

Although this unusual situation generated mixed responses, the Reddit community provided a platform for the woman to seek guidance and ultimately make decisions about her relationship.

"Anyway, I'm inclined to believe that yes this was cheating but I doubt it was enthusiastic consent. Yes, he put the girl's feelings over mine. But again, that's a girl who faced her impending death. He genuinely thought he was doing his friend a favor. We're experiencing the consequences of that action now but I know that it didn't come from a place of malice," the woman stated.

The Reddit user seemed to struggle with her emotions and circumstances, but, ultimately, she expressed gratitude for the pieces of advice she received.

"At least I know my bf's side now. I think a cool-off is the middle point of the dump him/reconsider advice I got. I can feel how contrite it is and the scenario was too sketchy. We'll do what we can to work on things. We still love each other so much. Thank you once again for the advice and support."