The commanding presence of social media, infinite scrolling news feeds, and politically divided echo chambers have all made us increasingly isolated. The problem is complicated by the realities of remote work and online shopping, essentially making it optional to ever leave the house. For all its practical and entertainment value, technology makes us increasingly lonely.
So what's the cure? What steps can we take as individuals and as a culture to feel less lonely and reconnect with the people around us?
Seek Therapy
One of the bright sides of a technologically connected world is that it has the potential to connect us to resources we might not have otherwise had - like online therapy. In online therapy, you'll have the opportunity to talk about whatever is bothering you. You'll have a licensed, trained professional therapist who will patiently listen to you, guide you with thoughtful questions, and ultimately help you figure out and address the root causes of your stress and negative emotions.
Online therapy isn't a miracle cure-all. Going to a single therapy session isn't going to magically make you feel less lonely or cure your depression. But every therapy session you attend will make you feel more connected, help you feel more confident, and introduce you to strategies that can help you minimize and manage your negative feelings. If you struggle with specific mental health conditions like depression or anxiety, your therapist can help you with those as well.
Disconnect From Social Media (or Update Your Settings)
About two-thirds of American adults believe that social media has a "mostly negative effect on the way things are going in the country today."
It's not hard to understand why. Social media platforms are engineered to be addictive, and they typically prioritize content designed to evoke a negative reaction in users, since these types of content lead to the greatest amount of engagement. On top of that, people often use social media as a substitute for real-life interactions - and frequent use of social media leads to a distorted sense of reality.
If you use social media frequently, your best course of action may be taking a break. Spend a week or two without social media and see how it makes you feel.
If you can't live without social media, there are some strategies you can use to minimize its effects on you:
- Remove sources that trigger negative emotions. Pay attention to posts, users, and pages that trigger negative emotions in you. Then, remove those sources from your newsfeeds.
- Set strict limits for yourself. Impose strict limits for yourself on how and when you use social media. For example, you might limit your total social media time to 30 minutes per day. This can help you avoid the trap of the infinite scroll and force you to use social media more thoughtfully.
- Focus on positive interactions with the people closest to you. Social media isn't all bad. It's a great way to stay in touch with people you might have otherwise lost track of. Accordingly, you should focus on maintaining positive interactions with the people who are closest to you on your favorite platforms.
Practice Social Outreach Every Day
Next, practice some form of social outreach every day. That could mean calling an old friend, chatting up a neighbor, or just having a conversation with someone at the local grocery store. This can be a great way to meet new people and make new friends, and it can give you a healthier social outlook as well.
Find a "Third Place" and Go There Regularly
Third places are "physical spaces for serendipitous, productivity-free conversation." In this social theory, your first place is your home. Your second place is your school or workplace. Your third place is some place you frequently attend that isn't one of your first two places. Historically, third places have been things like churches, bars, stoops, and clubs. These are opportunities for people to spend time with each other in a place that's relatively stress-free entry of hierarchies; everyone in a third place is a peer, and they can talk to each other on even footing.
Consider finding a third place of your own and attending it at least once a week. Your first few visits may not amount to much, but the more you attend, the more people will begin to recognize you, and you can truly start reaping the benefits of this social hotspot.
Find Peace With Yourself
One solution to feeling isolated is to reach out to other people. But it's also important to find peace with yourself. Practices like these can help you find contentment and satisfaction even when you're all alone.
- Journaling. Journaling forces you to introspect and really get to know yourself.
- Meditation. Through meditation, you can learn to focus on the present and let persistent thoughts go.
- Exercise. Physical exercise reduces stress, increases confidence, and gives you a sense of accomplishment.
- Constructive/creative hobbies. Hobbies like making music, art, and cooking are excellent pastimes that can leave you feeling fulfilled individually.
Unfortunately, there isn't much we can do as individuals on a cultural scale. We can't force people to go out more, nor can we make sweeping changes to our values as a nation overnight. What we can do is take actions on an individual level to help us feel less socially isolated and bring more opportunities for connection to other people.
