I hope that headline didn't get your hopes up. No, John Oliver's hilarious HBO show Last Week Tonight isn't back on the air yet. But just because it's still on hiatus until Feb. 8, 2015 doesn't mean Oliver can't wish us all a happy New Year. Or rather, destroy every happy thought we had about New Year's Eve.
Oliver took to his show's YouTube channel to post a video reminding us that he's been thinking about us during the holiday season — and that the holiday season kind of sucks. Clearly, he's feeling some fatigue now that Christmas and Hanukkah are over and Kwanzaa is wrapping up. But Oliver's real enemy of the holiday season is New Year's Eve, and he explains why in this segment.
Oliver thinks New Year's Eve is the worst, so if you love nothing more than popping open a bottle of bubbly and watching the ball drop in Times Square, you're probably going to want to skip this video. No matter how you feel about New Year's Eve, Oliver actually does present some compelling evidence as to why this holiday is so terrible.
"It combines three of the least pleasant things known to mankind: forced interaction with strangers, being drunk, cold and tired and having to stare at Ryan Seacrest for five solid minutes waiting for him to tell you what the time is," Oliver says in the video. You know what? He kind of has a point.
If you too want to avoid all of this and more on New Year's Eve, Oliver has a few suggestions for excuses you can use to ring in the New Year at home. Whether you're trying to get out of a guys' night at a strip club, need an excuse for missing a party at a friend's house or desperately want to take a rain check on that girls' night out, Oliver has you covered.
Here's to staying home New Year's Eve to watch all five Die Hard movies instead of whatever crazy shenanigans your friends have planned. I'll drink to that.
Check out the full video below to see which of Oliver's excuses will best get you out of your New Year's Eve plans.
