Valentine's Day is a few days away, so single men and women are seeking some useful advice on dating online and matters of the heart.
Amy Van Doran, a professional matchmaker and founder of Modern Love Club, is running all over New York City. We recently sat down with her to get free advice on how single people can get through Valentine's Day, the best way to attract a funny mate, and what dating rules to follow in the online dating world.
What's It Like To Be A Matchmaker, Especially On Valentine's Day
"The weeks following up to Valentine's Day are just so chaotic. And my life feels like, oh my gosh!" Van Doran told Tech Times. "I mean it's always busy, but the week before Valentine's Day is just busier than all of the other weeks."
Ask anyone who's a professional matchmaker on why they choose to do it for a living, and they'll say they've always known from a young age. At least, that's how Van Doran feels about her own matchmaking experience.
"I have always been a matchmaker. I was making matches in, like the first grade. I did start my business a decade ago giving free love advice in a little booth in the park. Like Lucy!" she said.
With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, single men and women around the world are feeling the pressure to find a date online before the hallmark holiday. Here are a few of Van Doran's tips.
Curb Expectations
"Free yourself from expectations, and think of it as a day to indulge in as much joy and whim as possible. Make Valentine's Day funny. Make it a day where you do little acts of kindness for others. If you have expectations for the day you will be sure to be disappointed," says Van Doran.
According to the matchmaker, men in significant relationships can also use this advice. They feel a lot of pressure to do everything right, from ordering flowers to chocolates to gifts, and booking a romantic restaurant for dinner.
Those who are single and swiping through matches on dating apps like Bumble or OkCupid should have fun with their dating profiles.
Have Great Photos And Be Funny
"Have great photos, be funny. If you aren't funny, don't expect to attract a funny mate. I find the people that come in with a very serious voice, and want to attract a mate with a sense of humor, aren't going to attract someone with a sense of humor," says Van Doran.
"The best way to do that is to show (not tell) the attributes in the matches men or women would like to attract. Specifically, not trying to be everyone's match. But being the dead on match for a particular demo."
Sometimes, people may feel like they've done everything they can to find Mr. or Ms. Right but nothing seems to be working.
Try The Opposite
"If what you have been doing hasn't worked. Try the opposite. The things people look for in a mate short term are often at odds with what a person should be looking for in a long-term match. Go on second dates. People who are amazing first dates, are typically just good at dating," said Van Doran.
Van Doran also shares some more advice on when is the perfect time new couples should become intimate.
"Everyone's relationship to sex is very different. Anything is on the table, as long as there is very direct communication. Consent is the sexiest thing in the world. I do notice that if a relationship is something to be desired, not sleeping with someone right away does weed out people that are not relationship oriented," says Van Doran.
"However, men and women can sleep with someone right away, and be relationship oriented as long as they promise they will not be upset if the person they slept with disappears right away."
"I personally, can't do that. So I avoid it. Also, the long drawn out tension from not sleeping together right away makes it that much hotter," she adds.
