We've all encountered a situation where the person you're talking to whips out his or her smartphone as you're still gabbing, clearly showing disinterest in the conversation. Usually this is just annoying, but it can actually be a dealbreaker.
That's right. Smartphones may actually ruin relationships, of the romantic variety, that is. You've probably had a feeling that was the case all along anyway, but now we have a bit of scientific evidence to support those feelings.
A new study published recently in the journal Psychology of Popular Media Culture found that 70 percent of its participants, all of whom were married or cohabiting heterosexual women, said that smartphones were interfering in their relationships. The study has deemed these "everyday intrusions and interruptions due to technology devices" as "technoference." That term is not to be confused with disrupting someone's dance at a rave.
The researchers examined how often "technoference" occurs in relationships by surveying 143 women. They found that the majority of women had their conversations, meals or just hang out time interrupted by their partner noodling around on a device. Women who experienced "technoference" in their relationships were more likely to be less satisfied with their relationships and their lives overall. Wouldn't you feel not-so-great about yourself if your partner paid less of his or her attention to you in favor of checking out Facebook?
Of course, this study isn't really surprising. Obviously, having a partner spend more time playing Candy Crush Saga than looking longingly into your eyes is going to cause problems in any relationship. There are also limitations to this study, such as the fact that the group of participants was so small and that only women were surveyed. Surely women must spend a comparable amount of time on their smartphones, right? In fact, women actually spend slightly more time online and on apps on their mobile devices.
The authors of the study recognize that the feelings the participants reported might be due to other factors in their relationships, not just technology use. Of course, if technology really is messing up your love life, there's a lot you can do about that.
One solution is to simply just not use technology when you're with your partner. Ignore your phone, turn it off or hide it if you have to. You can also just make some rules about technology use with your partner, talking about what is and isn't OK to do when you're together, one of the study's authors Sarah Coyne told NPR.
However, technology doesn't have to be the enemy here. You can also use it to help you work out your issues with your partner. There are some relationship counseling apps for both iOS and Android devices. The best-looking of these is Couples Counseling, which allows you to talk to an expert couples counselor, message your partner and pick up some relationship tips. There's only 17 ratings of the app in the iOS app store right now, but they all gave the app five stars, so that could be something. A Pew survey from earlier this year even found that nearly 10 percent of partners have resolved an argument online or via text message.
In case you're not currently in a fight, there are also plenty of apps for couples to help you get closer. One of those is Couple, which is like a social network but for just the two of you. There's also Avocado, a messaging app made just for couples, which should help strengthen your all-important communication. After all, technology doesn't have to tear us a part.
Image: Stephen McCulloch / Flickr
