When you first start dating someone, you're very conscious of what you text them. You carefully choose each word to try and say the right thing. But how does texting between you and your significant other change after marriage? Data scientist Alice Zhao compared the texts between her and her husband during their first year of dating and first year of marriage. She posted her findings on her blog.
Zhao actually complied the data as an anniversary gift for her husband, who gave her a Word document of all their text messages for their first anniversary five years earlier. The word clouds Zhao created shows how communication can change as a relationship progresses. Compared with texts from 2008, over the past year they didn't greet each other as much, they said "ok" more and "love" less, and messaged more about their home life than making plans to see each other.
While these might sound like negative changes, it's actually just due to the couple seeing each other in-person more. Texting serves a different function in their relationship now that they don't need to rely on it as much.
"As a married couple, since we're together all the time, we set up date nights and say sweet things to each other in person, so texting is mostly used to confirm logistics or share random thoughts," Zhao wrote on her blog.
The time of day the couple texted each other shifted, too. They used to text in the afternoon until late at night while they were dating, but after marriage they mostly text during the workday.
Zhao explained that when their relationship started, they tried to make their texts interesting. As the couple got comfortable with each other, their messages became more casual. This is a probably a similar experience to what most couples go through as they transition from dating to marriage, but it's interesting to see a visual representation of it.
But no matter what kind of role texting plays in a relationship, some things are just better said in person."We no longer have to text 'I love you' from a distance in the middle of the night," Zhao wrote. "I can now roll over, snuggle with my husband and whisper it into his ear."
