The Elf On The Shelf Has Been A Bad, Bad Boy

Prepare yourself, this is shocking stuff. Keep the kids away, lest they be emotionally scarred.

We regret to report that the beloved Elf On the Shelf has gone bad. Like, Miley Cyrus bad. We don't know what happened. Did he not get what he wanted for Christmas? Was he dumped by his lady elf? Did he just get sick of sitting on that blasted shelf??

Here's what we know.

It started pretty innocently. Just your standard fake poop joke.

Then he made the mistake of hopping on Twitter for a bit. It filled his tiny little mind with all sorts of ideas.

Very quickly, it went from bad to worse.

We were heartened to find that he still has an appreciation for Christmas classics.

But those warm fuzzies went away fast when the paparazzi caught a snap of his latest recreational habit.

And we're pretty sure this is where he got it from.

Things got really dark when he went to collect an old debt.

We have no proof, but we believe he may have been inspired by DVDs of a certain Showtime series.

It seemed he had nowhere to go but down, but that's when he hit rock bottom.

It's time for an intervention, before it's too late.

And if that fails...

The problem will be dealt with.